Changes
by Bottled Chaos
Summary: Remus has changed his appearance and Sirius LOVES it. They make a bet that Sirius can't seduce him with in a week. Can Sirius Seduce his Remmie? Or is he destined for more cold showers? R&R! SLASHY GOODNESS!
1. Blue hair and Aerosmith

**WARNINGS- **

**SLASH. Boy x Boy. Gay. As a maypole. Yup. Remus is pretty OOC but hey-ho. **

**No, I don't own Harry Potter.**

** If I did, Rem and Sirius would be shagging like rabbits and Harry and Draco would be snogging...like...rabbits?**

**Yup.**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Remus stood in front of the violently purple shop, his palms sweating and his bottom lip being thoroughly gnawed by his teeth. This was by far the stupidest thing he have ever even _considered_ doing.

He, Remus John Lupin, Shy, bookworm, boring, plain Remus, is standing outside a tattoo shop, with a design in his hand.

_God this is ridiculous._

_ What the hell was I even thinking?! _

_Me? Getting a tattoo?!_

_ Lord give me strength._

He was about to turn around and walk away from the ridiculous shop when Sirius's voice spoke in his head.

_"God Remus, get a fucking personality will you? You practically scream 'boring.'"_

He grit his teeth as the memory of that day came back to him. Sirius, James and Peter stood in front of him, going on about the latest stupid prank they had come up with when he had snapped and told them it was immature and stupid. Sirius then snapped back at him, referring to him as "Cold, boring and plain." And it finally hit him that Sirius was right. He was everything Sirius had said. He was boring, plain and ever so slightly cold. So he decided to change that.

Not for Sirius or James or Peter.

But for him.

He was a werewolf for crying out loud! He should be pretty fucking _epic_!

Lily was very supportive, telling him to follow his heart and do something reckless for once in his life.

"_You only live once Rem, get living while you can! You never know, you might catch Sirius's eye and finally ask him out. Seriously- Stop laughing Remus, that joke was never bloody funny- You've been drooling over him for years. Do. Something!"_

So here he was, standing outside a muggle tattoo shop, preparing to walk in.

He sucked in a breath and pushed the door open.

He was hit by a wall of loud, rock music being blared from the purple speakers by the door. He walked quickly over to the girl standing behind the counter and slammed his drawing down on the desk.

She raised a pierced eyebrow at Remus and looked him up and down. He felt himself blush slightly as she tossed a strand of bright pink hair over her shoulder and smiled at him.

"You Drew this?" She asked, her accent heavily Scottish.

"Um, yeah, I did." He said, smiling as she held it up, nodding her head in approval.

"It's kick arse. So, where you thinking of getting it?" She asked, cocking her head at him and walking him to a chair. He sat down and pulled the sleeve of his jumper up.

"Here." He said, pointing at his upper arm. She smiled and nodded, grabbing her ink and some other things. She began to get to work, tracing the drawing around his arm lightly, getting the outline ready.

He tried not to focus on the pen on his arm, knowing that when the needle finally came, He would probably end up regretting ever walking in here. So he closed his eyes and lost himself in the music.

_Don't want to close my eyes  
I don't want to fall asleep  
Cause I'd miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
Cause even when I dream of you  
The sweetest dream will never do  
I'd still miss you babe  
And I don't want to miss a thing_

"Like Aerosmith then?" The girl laughed, dipping the needle into the black ink. He smiled and opened his eyes.

"Is that who sings this? I've never really bothered much with Rock, but this is awesome." He gushed, bobbing his head in sync with the music.

The girl laughed. "Aye, they're brilliant. If you like this you should check out some Queen or even some Bowie. I reckon they would be your cup of tea."

He smiled at her as she grinned down at him, needle in hand.

"Ready?" She asked him.

He gulped and closed his eyes.

"Yup."

SBRLSBRLSBRL

"OH MY LORD, REMUS!"

Remus grinned, dropping his many bags on to the couch in the living room. His mum was staring at him like he had grown two heads and his dad was looking slightly worried.

"Like it?" Remus asked, smirking.

_What the France?_

_Since when did I Smirk?!_

_Oh dear Merlin._

"Erm..I-i th-...It's certainly...erm..._different" _His mum stuttered, blushing slightly. He grinned and looked at his dad, who was still looking slightly worried.

"Dad?" Remus asked softly.

"Well, I um-" He started, flushing slightly. "It looks great Remus, very...erm...rebel-ish! But are you sure you want to...erm...look like that?" He asked quietly.

He laughed lightly, "Yeah dad, I'm sure."

He relaxed slightly, smiling at him.

"Well, I think you look awesome. Erm...is this anything..to do with that Serious boy?" He muttered.

He bit his lip and tried not to laugh.

_'Serious.'_

_Hehe._

_Focus Remus!_

_Good lord I'm talking to myself._

_Via my brain._

_..._

_Wait what?!_

"Nope. All me." He said, picking the bags up again.

_Lie._

_Shut up brain._

_Wow. I just told myself to shut up._

_Insanity, thy name is Remus._

"I'm off to bed, night." And with that he left his parents standing in the doorway, looking shocked and rather amused.

He walked to his bedroom, and dropped his bags on his chair, walking to his full length mirror. He grinned.

His hair, that used to be long and mousy brown, was now Electric Blue, he had gotten his eyebrow and tongue pierced, and his new tattoo was showing under the sleeve of his blue _Aerosmith_ t-shirt.

His tattoo was a large, silver werewolf.

_How cliché..._

With the words

_"Courage is found in unlikely places_." Circling it.

He pushed a strand of blue hair from his eyes, eyeing his new fingerless black gloves as he did.

Once again,

He looked freaking _awesome._

He walked over to his bed and pulled out his new Aerosmith cd, and put it in his CD player. He grinned as the music filled his small room. He walked over to his desk and pulled out the camera James had gotten him for christmas last year, a quill, ink and a piece of parchment. He held the camera up at arms length, facing himself. He grinned and stuck his tongue out exposing the small black piercing.

**Flash**

He pulled the small picture from the bottom of the camera and waited for it to develop fully.

He held the camera up again, this time pointing at his new tattoo.

**Flash**

He pulled the picture out and sat it next to the first one. He grinned when he saw the first picture that had now fully developed. His eyes were glittering in the photo.

He looked different.

Excited.

_Alive._

He sat down and picked up his quill and dunked it into his ink.

_Dear Lily,_ He wrote.

_How have you been? It's insane how fast the summer's gone! I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. _

_Well, I'll FINALLY get to see you in a weeks time._

_7th year._

_Wow._

_So..erm..Remember that talk we had about getting Sirius to notice me and about 'living while I can?'_

_Well..._

_Erm..._

_Just look at the photo's I've enclosed. They should explain it all._

_Remus._

He smiled and attached the photos to the end of the letter and went to the window.

"Lumo!" Remus called.

A few seconds later, his white owl landed on his window.

The owl looked at him for a second and seemed to be thinking;

_Who the fuck are you?!_

"It's me, Lumo." He laughed and attatched the letter to the birds foot.

"Take this to Lily, please."

Lumo chirped and took off out the window into the night.

Remus shut his window and walked over to his bed, flopping down, not bothering to undress.

He fell asleep within minutes as Aerosmith's "Walk this way" played in the background.

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**REVIEW!**

**Please?**

**With cookies and sprinkles on top?**

**LOTS OF LOVE!**

**~Purebloodarts.**


	2. Evil Pencils and a sexy stranger

**A/N- Hello!**

**So, I've been thinking about something...**

**Am I the only girl out there that finds gay couples...**

**well..**

**Hot**

**as**

**fuck?!**

**...I'm sure I'm not alone. But hey-ho!**

**ENJOY! (and you could always Review. I would LOVE that.)**

* * *

"_James.."_

"..."

"James."

"..."

"JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAMES!"

"ARGH!"

"Oh Good! Your up." Sirius grinned, pushing James off the bed. James landed in a heap on the floor, growling up at Sirius.

_Bloody mutt._

_Don't know why I let him move in with me._

_..._

_Oh wait, I DIDN'T._

_Bloody mother and her bloody mother...ness.._

"Padfoot. It's fucking half 6 in the morning! Why are you waking me up?!" James growled, pulling himself up and walking to his drawers to get dressed.

"2 reasons," Sirius started, "1. I was chewing that muggle thingy...a penkil? Pancil? PENCIL! Yeah, that! And it stabbed me in the fucking mouth! What is wrong with these muggles...Oh, and 2. We're going to visit my little Remmie-kins today!"

James blinked.

_Remmie-kins?_

_Da fuck?_

_I knew Sirius fancied him and all that jazz, but seriously..._

_Remmie-kins?!_

"Er...right.." James muttered and left to get changed.

He emerged 5 minutes later, to find Sirius chewing the bloody pencil again.

_Lord give me strength..._

James sighed.

"Right, are we walking or apparating?"

Sirius looked up and blinked. Then they both burst out laughing.

"Apparating." They said together and spun on the spot.

James landed with a thud in the middle of the Lupin living room and looked around.

Shock.

That was the only thing he could feel.

There was Lily, his beautiful Lily flower, sitting looking perfect as always.

But who the fuck was this dude with the blue hair and the piercings?!

...

and why was he so fucking hot?!

_Did I just think that?!_

_Oh dear._

* * *

"Reeeeeeemus..."

Remus smiled in his sleep, rolling over slightly.

_"Reeemus..."_

He smiled again, snuggling down into his blanket more.

"**REMUS JOHN LUPIN GET YOUR SKINNY ARSE TO THIS FIREPLACE RIGHT NOW!"**

This time Remus shot up, as the voice of Lily Evans boomed from his living room, and hurled himself towards the small living room. His parents had left early to go to work at the ministry and Remus had opted to stay in bed for the day. He threw himself at the fireplace and saw the face of Lily Evans staring back at him.

"Hey Lil!" He grinned, kneeling down to face her. Lily's expression didn't change, she simply sat there, frozen in shock.

"Lily?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her. She made a noise somewhere between a chicken and a dying whale then her face was gone.

_Woman._

_There all bloody nutters._

A second later, the fire spat and turned green and the space where Lily's face had been was now covered by Lily herself. Remus stumbled back slightly as Lily threw herself forward and hugged him fiercely. She let go of him and sat down on the couch, her eyes wide and sparkling.

"I thought this was a prank," She started, her smile getting wider with ever word, "I thought you had charmed the photo's to trick me. But you've actually done it. _You! Remus John Lupin!_"

Remus threw his head back and laughed at her amazed expression.

"Yup, like the hair?" He laughed, throwing a loose strand over his ear. Lily laughed back and nodded enthusiastically.

"You look..erm...well...to put it bluntly-" She stuttered, twirling a strand of red hair through her fingers.

"Spit it out Lily!" He laughed.

She was silent for a few seconds before she seemed to explode.

"REM! You Look **HOT!** Seriously! When you sent me those photo's I nearly DIED. Lupin, _YOU NEARLY KILLED ME WITH YOUR SEXYNESS_! I mean _look_ at you! Your hair looks so rockstar it should be illegal, your piercings look _bad ass!_ Your tattoo is unbelieveably awesome, You're wearing a _dog collar _Remus. That is by far the sexiest thing I've seen in a loooong time. And you've put on weight, In a good way! You've filled out nicely and you just...you just seem to _hold_ yourself differently. Like your more comfortable with yourself. I'm proud of you Rem." She gushed, smiling like a nutter.

Remus giggled and grabbed Lily, holding her in a hug.

"Thanks Lily, do you think...you know...Sirius will...y'know.." He muttered, fingering his leather dog collar.

"Like it?" She offered, smiling at his shyness.

He mearly nodded. Lily grinned and put a hand on his knee.

"He'll LOVE it. And more importantly, he'll love you." She winked.

There was a loud POP and suddenly two boys were standing behind Lily. They both smiled but then saw Remus and their smiled faded.

Remus blinked.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

Blink.

"Are you okay?" She asked again, frowning slightly.

Blink.

James and Sirius were standing in his living room.

Oh god.

ABORT!

ABORT!

"Lily?" James asked, frowning. Sirius was rooted to the spot, staring at Remus like he was wearing a tu-tu.

"Oh, Hello James, Sirius." She smiled and cast a shocked look at Remus. She apparently hadn't noticed them before James had spoke.

"Who's he?" Sirius asked frowning at Remus.

Lily blinked and looked from James to Sirius to Remus to Sirius.

"Erm..this is...um..-" She stuttered.

"Hey Pads, Hey Prongs." Remus said, winking at Sirius with new found courage.

...

"_REMUS_?!"

* * *

**Har Har!**

**Cliff-hanger!**

**REVIEW! :3**

**Love as always! **

**~Purebloodarts**


	3. Blinking and Ravishing into the floor

**Right.**

**The last chapter had soooo many mistakes. ****It's embarrassing. -.- ****But in my defence, I wrote it at 12 at night, half asleep, and not really in a writing mood. So yeah. **

**OH! If you're wondering what Remus looks like now...Well, he looks like Teddy. Well, what I imagine Teddy to look like.**

**He pretty much looks like this (Go to Deviantart (dot com) and put this at the end!)= " ?q=teddy+lupin#/d1vabkq"**

* * *

_"REMUS?!"_

Remus flinched as Sirius and James yelled, both sounding like they had been told Remus was now a woman.

_I bet if I had a vagina it would be marvellous..._

_..._

_What the fuck is wrong with my brain?_

"Erm, yeah...hey." Remus muttered weakly, blushing furiously under his friends gazes. James burst out laughing and when he started it seemed like he couldn't stop.

"B-But! Remus! You- HAHAHA- You look! -AAAAAAHAHAH!- _You look hot!_ AHAHAH!" He all but screamed, laughing at the same time. Remus blinked and raised an eyebrow.

"er...thanks?" He muttered.

Sirius was staring at Remus still, as if looking away would cause Remus to disappear.

Lily stood up and grabbed her boyfriends arm, dragging him to the kitchen.

"I'll...I'll just get James here a glass of water and help him -OW JAMES!- Help him cool down a bit." Lily shouted over James's hysterical laughter. The door slammed behind them and then Remus was alone with Sirius.

_Shit._

"So..." Remus said, trying to break the deafening silence. Sirius blinked once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Then he was on top of Remus, crushing him in a hug.

"ARGH!" Remus squealed.

_Wow. _

_Very manly._

_I may as well start wearing dresses and calling myself Romola._

_..._

_Shut up brain._

"God Remmie! You look freaking amazing! I LOVE IT!" Sirius gushed, causing Remus to blush.

"Thanks, it's really your fault that I now look like this." He laughed. Sirius untangled himself from Remus and frowned at him, looking very confused.

"What?" He asked.

Remus bit his lip, trying to pick out the right words.

"Well, after you shouted at me and told me to get a personality and to live a little...I sort of...well..did!" He smiled. Sirius looked even more confused before a look of understanding and guilt come over his face.

"Oh shit! Oh Remmie, you know I didn't mean that! I was just pissed off because you were going all prefect on us!" He whispered, looking very guilty.

"It's okay Sirius, it's okay!" Remus said, grabbing Sirius's hands in his own. "As you said, it sort of worked out in the end."

At this Sirius grinned and blushed slightly.

"Yeah Remmie, you look..well...sexy." He muttered, blushing furiously red. Remus grinned and put a finger under his chin, forcing Sirius to look him in the eye.

"Aww padders! Do you have an ikkle cwush on little ol' me?" He batted his eyelids dramatically. Sirius narrowed his eyes in a half-hearted glare but he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

"Oh Remmie! Of course I do!" He said in a sing-song voice. Remus felt his heart speed up but he laughed it off, rolling his eyes. They both fell into a comfortable silence before Sirius broke it.

"Yes." he whispered, so quietly that Remus had to practically press his ear to Sirius's lips to hear him.

Remus frowned and looked up at Sirius, who was fingering his jeans.

"Yes? Yes what?" Remus asked, curiosity lacing his every word.

Sirius shifted slightly and refused to look Remus in the eye.

"Yes...I erm...I have taken...erm..a..a l-liking..to you.." Sirius stuttered, going even redder in the face.

Remus felt his eyes widen and his pulse all but stop.

_Oh god._

_Oh god._

OH GOD.

_He likes me! He likes me! He likes me!_

Remus felt the need to do an Irish jig of happiness but he figured Sirius wouldn't find him so appealing after that...

"So..erm...when did this...feeling occur?" He asked politely, trying to keep the giant grin off his face.

Sirius shifted, looking thoroughly uncomfortable.

"Erm...it started around 5th year and it just got...well..worse." He murmured, plucking up enough courage to look Remus in the eye. Remus grinned up at Sirius, causing him to frown.

"Well padders," He said, in a mock whisper "It just so happens that I have harboured some 'feelings' for you also. For quite a while I may add!"

Sirius looked at him and blinked.

_Why do we all blink so much?_

_Surely this can't be a normal amount of blinking...ness?_

_Oh wait!_

_Sirius is talking!_

_FOCUS._

"Ar-Are you Serious -DON'T YOU DARE MAKE THAT JOKE IT WAS NEVER FUNNY!- Rem?" He asked, his eyes wide as plates.

Remus grinned again and winked at Sirius whose eyes just got wider.

"Yes. I'm serious."

Sirius blinked-

_Again, what the fuck is with the blinking?!_

-then broke into a smile, resembling the Cheshire cat.

Sirius moved faster than Remus thought was humanly possible and was suddenly straddling Remus. Remus felt his eyes widen as Sirius moved closely to his face.

"Be mine, Remus. You know you can't resist the Black charm." He whispered huskily.

Remus could feel his blood leaving his brain and travelling south.

Fast.

Too fast!

"Sirius!" Remus managed to squeak out just in time, as Sirius's lips were hovering a mere centimeter above his.

"What?" Sirius whispered, lust coating his voice.

"I've had an idea.." He muttered back, pushing Sirius off and pulling a pillow to his lap to hide his...

er...

Problem.

"Oh?" Sirius questioned.

"Well..it's more of a...bet." He explained.

Sirius's eyes lit up at the word 'bet'.

"Lay it on me!" He laughed.

"Well, how about this. If you can...seduce me...using the '_Black Charm_' by the end of our first week back at Hogwarts, then I'll be yours. But! You're not allowed to just jump on me and snog me to death. You need to be clever about it." Remus said, grinning at Sirius and holding out a hand.

Sirius eyed him for a second and then -never one to pass down a bet- grabbed his hand a shook it.

"Deal." He said, winking at Remus and causing him to squirm.

"But just so you know Rem," he stage whispered, "If it wasn't for the whole 'no snogging you' thing, I would jump you right now and ravish you into the floor." And with that, he stood up and walked out to the kitchen leaving Remus with a bright red face and in need of a VERY cold shower.

* * *

**Ta-da! **

**Erm, It's my birthday on the 15th, so updates MAY be a little off time.**

**Sorry! **

**REVIEW! **

**Love as always,**

**~Purebloodarts.**


	4. Hogwarts and awkward compliments

**A/N- I'm SO SORRY! This has taken me Forever to write (lack of sleep, energy, motivation and stuff..)**

**But here you are, Lé Chapterico (lolwhut?) Four.**

* * *

_One Week Later_

"James! James I've finished it!"

James sighed as Sirius came hurling through his bedroom, a piece of parchment in his hand and a giant grin on his face.

"Finished what exactly, Padfoot?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. Sirius plonked, rather ungracefully, on to the couch next to James and threw the parchment at his face. It hit him in the nose.

_Arsehole._

He scowled and picked the parchment up, unrolling it and coughing dramatically.

"Ahem, Ahem..._Mssr. Padfoot's five step guide to seducing Mssr. Moony._" James scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Sirius stuck his tongue out, "Just read it you unintelligible twit."

"Unintelligible?! That's a big word for you Padfoot, how long did it take you to learn that one?"

**Thump**

"Ow! Christ I was kidding, Padfoot!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and motioned with his hand for James to keep reading.

James continued reading, but not longer speaking out loud.

_"Step 1) Compliment him._

_I do this all the time with the girls and it always makes them go all blushy and shy, so maybe it will work on my sexy little werewolf. He is very attractive after all...when he's sleeping, he does this little thing with his nose where he-_

_FOCUS SIRIUS!_

_Step 2) Make him laugh. _

_It's common __knowledge that you can laugh a woman into bed...I wonder if you can laugh a werewolf into bed...? Only one way to find out!_

_Step 3) Use casual touches._

_Birds seem to like it when I brush a strand of hair back or touch the small of their backs. May aswell try it with my darling little Remmie-kins._

_Step 4) Make him jealous._

_That one time I was trying to get that Ravenclaw, Rachel, to snog me, I snogged a Hufflepuff( Jenny? Julie? or was it Janie? I don't give a shit...) in front of her and she pulled Jenny/Julie/Janie off me and snogged me within an inch of my life. _

_Step 5) Tease him._

_This one just speaks for itself..._

_And If all else fails, I shall just tie him to the bed and ravish him until he forgets his own name._

_OOOOOh._

_Kinky."_

"Soooo?" Sirius asked, practically jumping up and down on the spot.

James laughed and handed him the parchment back.

"Yeah it sounds good, I'm sure you'll manage to get your...What was it again? 'Sexy little werewolf'?" He teased.

Sirius winked, causing James to pull a face.

"Anyway, go pack your trunk, we're leaving for Hogwarts in the morning." James said, putting on his new found Head Boy voice.

Sirius merely grinned and ran back to his room, leaving James highly amused and slightly excited.

RLSBRLSB

Sirius grinned as he saw a flurry of red hair running towards himself and James. James beamed and grabbed Lily into a hug, spinning her around in his arms.

"Lily Flower! I've missed you!" He gushed, pulling her closer.

"Aww James, I've missed you too!" She smiled and gripped James tighter.

Sirius resisted the urge to gag.

"Good god, you would think they hadn't seen each other in years." Came a soft voice from behind him. He spun around and beamed as he saw Remus standing behind him, grinning slightly. His blue hair was in a messy ponytail, just reaching the nape of his neck, he was already in his Hogwarts robes. Sirius resisted the urge to tackle him to the floor and snog him senseless.

_Christ he's hot._

_Nuuuuugh!_

_Must._

_Resist._

_Urge._

_To._

_Shag._

_Him._

"Hello, Padfoot." Remus said politely and held out a hand for Sirius to shake. Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

"Nggh! Padfoot! Ca-Can't- Breath!-"

Sirius barked a laugh and set him back down, grinning down at him. Remus rubbed his ribs with one hand and stuck his tongue out.

"If your finished Molesting me, I think we should get on the train." He muttered, flicking Sirius on the nose. Sirius smiled and grabbed Remus's hand, dragging him onto the train and went to look for a compartment. They found Peter, sitting in a compartment and they quickly sat down and smiled at the chubby boy.

"Hey Wormy." Sirius greeted.

"Hey Sirius, Hey...erm...Who's your friend?" He asked shyly. Remus laughed and pulled out a book.

"It's me Peter." He said, grinning at Peter gasped and paled slightly.

"Remus?!" He gaped, ignoring Sirius's scowl.

"Yep." Was all Remus said before he opened the book and began reading. Sirius turned to Peter and asked if he wanted to play chess. James and Lily joined them a little while later and everything was quiet for a few minutes before Sirius turned to Remus and poked him in the side.

_Initiating__ step one._

_Here goes nothing._

"Hmm?" Remus asked, putting his finger in his book to mark his page.

"You look very sexual today, Moony." Sirius smiled. Remus, Lily and Peter mearley stared at him. James looked like he was going to explode with laughter.

"Pardon?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You look incredibly sexual today, you sexy little werewolf." Sirius repeated, smiling at Remus and waiting for a reaction.

Remus blinked.

James burst out laughing and grabbed Sirius's arm, pulling him out of the carriage, leaving the other three thoroughly confused.

"P-Pads! Y-You're supposed to -ahahah!- You're supposed to slip the compliments into conversation. Not j-just blurt them out!" James said, roaring with laughter.

Sirius scowled and smacked him on the head. James mearley laughed some more and walked back into the carriage. Sirius followed.

He sat back down next to Remus who was still looking at him with a confused expression.

_Slip the compliments into conversation._

_Don't just blurt them out._

_Right._

"So Remus, how is your mother and father doing? Oh by the way, you're bum looks really sexy today." He smiled and raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response.

"Err...right...Well, I'm off to the loo..." Remus said, looking at Sirius as though he was insane. He stood up and walked quickly out of the carriage.

James burst out laughing again.

Status Report-

Step 1) Utter Failure.

* * *

_**Done! Sorry again that it took so long, hope you can forgive me!**_

_**REVIEW! **_

_**Love as always,**_

**_~PureBloodArts._**


	5. Ravenwhores and Teasing

**A/N- Guys, I feel like shiiiit. I fainted earlier today and I can't stop throwing up. But as I lay on my death bed, I could see the light! But I thought NO! I Can't die now! I need to update for my lovely followers! As I jumped from my death bed, I ran to the nearest computer I could find and now here I am...!**

**Okay that's a Sliiiiight exaggeration...I fainted then my step-dad threw toast at me. But I do feel like poop. So please Review and make my day a little brighter.**

**Please? :c**

* * *

Sirius growled as yet another group of Ravenwhores, Slytherslags and Hufflesluts walked by HIS Remus, batting their eyelashes and shaking their hips at him. The Gryffindors seem to realize that if they come within a mile of Remus, Sirius will hurt them in places that they didn't even know they had. That's the fourth, FOURTH I TELL YOU!, time that a group of whores/slags/sluts to come up to Remus and tell him he looks "Like totally gorj!"

_Gorj?_

_THAT ISN'T EVEN A FUCKING WORD._

_Women. They're all fucking bonkers._

Sirius stabbed his untouched food with more force than he thought was humanly possible. He and Remus were in the great hall, eating dinner. Peter was visiting McGonagall for a career talk (His fifth, I may add.) and James and Lily were escorting the new first years to their common rooms.

The worst thing about this whole situation is that Remus just sits there and smiles at them, or laughs at their jokes as they shamelessly flirt with him. Sirius was fuming. How DARE they speak to his Remmie. How. Dare. They.

"Good Evening, Lupin..." Came another voice from behind where Sirius and Remus were sitting side by side. Sirius tensed. He knew that voice. That voice that made him sick to his stomach. He and Remus turned at the same time, to come face to face with Severus Snape.

_Holy fuck I think I'm going to be SICK._

"Oh...Er...hello Severus." Remus muttered, looking slightly confused. Since when did Severus try and speak to him? Snape smiled and then seemed to notice Sirius, who now had his hand on Remus's thigh, protectively. His smile turned into a sneer.

"Black." Snape snorted.

"Snivellus." Sirius retorted, turning his nose up at Snivellus's too short robes. Snape drew his eyes off Sirius and looked back to Remus. Sirius let his eyes drift back to his plate.

"So Lupin, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the library with me tonight." He said. Sirius's eyes snapped up from his plate to look at Remus's reaction. He seemed just as shocked and slightly disgusted as Sirius felt. But Remus, being ever polite and courteous, simply nodded and tried to smile but it came out like more of a grimace.

"Great!" Snivilly grinned, showing a rack of yellow, uneven teeth. "So it's a date. I'll see you later Lup- er...Remus."

_Oh fucking HELL NO._

"No you fucking won't!" Sirius snarled, grabbing Remus's arm and dragging him away from the hall. He all but dragged Remus to the nearest broom closet he could find and threw him in, locking the door behind him.

"Sirius! What the heck are you doing?!" Remus said, sounding shocked.

"Rem, **Snivellus** was hitting on you. EW!" Sirius muttered, pouting slightly. Remus looked torn between laughing and hitting Sirius. He settled for doing both.

"Ow! Remmie!" Sirius moaned, pouting again. Remus just grinned and winked.

_Waaaaaait a second..._

_Me and Remus-_

_**It's Remus and I, Sirius.** _ A small voice interrupted from the back of his mind, sounding very much like Remus.

_Oh whatever! Remus and I then!_

_Are in a broom closet._

_Alone._

_Oh Merlin._

_Initiating Step 3 with a hint of Step 5._

Sirius had already tried step 2, and it failed horribly. Sirius cracked some jokes and Remus merely smiled awkwardly. James almost pissed himself laughing at Sirius's put out expression.

"So...Remus...What do you think we should do now we're alone...?" Sirius whispered, stepping closer so Remus's chest was pressed against his. He heard Remus's breath quicken slightly.

"I-I Don't know.." Remus muttered, twirling a strand of blue hair in his fingers. Sirius caught Remus's hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing it lightly. His other hand moved to cup Remus's face. He let go of Remus's hand and trailed his fingers all over Remus's body, carefully avoiding his lips and groin area. Remus was trembling under him with want but Sirius just kept teasing him with his hand. He brought his lips very close to Remus's ear and nibbled at the lobe, causing Remus to moan slightly.

"You're beautiful Remus. So beautiful." He whispered, licking the shell of Remus's ear. Remus moaned again, blushing an adorable red colour, and Sirius was starting to find his trousers getting a bit too tight. He could feel Remus's breathing becoming labored as he worked his lips across Remus's jaw.

"Kiss me." Remus whispered helplessly, squirming against Sirius.

"Ah, but Remus. This is all part of our bet...I can't kiss you." He said, then leaned in so his lips were only a centimeter away from Remus's. "But you could always back down and kiss _me._"

Remus looked torn for a second, but before he could make up his mind, Sirius pulled away from him, winked and walked out the cupboard. The last thing Sirius heard was Remus groan loudly and saw him sink to the floor, his knee's giving out from under him.

Sirius was grinning all the way back to the Gryffindor common room. He walked in and sat down on the couch, next to Wormtail and Frank Longbottom, who took one look at him and both grinned. Sirius had told all of his friend about his Seducing-The-Remus plan, so if they saw him acting stranger than usual, they knew why.

"Step 3 worked well then?" Peter asked, bemused. Sirius merely grinned wider and was about to answer when Remus staggered into the common room and grabbed Sirius by the collar, dragging him up to the dorms.

Remus kicked the door open and threw Sirius down on the nearest bed. Sirius grinned up at him. Remus cocked his head and crawled on top of Sirius so he was straddling him.

"Like teasing people do you now, Padfoot?" He whispered huskily, licking a trail from Sirius's ear to his chin. Sirius stopped grinning and his breath hitched.

_Oh god._

_Oh god._

_OH GOOD GOD ABOVE._

Remus started slipping down Sirius's body, stopping to play with his chest. Sirius could feel himself getting warmed and more needier.

"Rem- Please- Need! Nggggh!" Sirius moaned. He felt Remus grin against his stomach. Remus just kept getting lower and lower until he was eye level with Sirius's groin.

"Do you want me Padfoot?" Remus whispered, causing hot air to blow over Sirius.

_Fucking HELL. _

_Need!_

_Him!_

_Now!_

_NGGH!_

"Yes!" Sirius all but screamed. Remus chuckled and then stood up, causing Sirius to groan.

"I hate being teased Pads, never do it again." Remus winked and grinned, and then strode out of the room.

"Well FUCK!" He shouted to himself. He was about to go downstairs when he heard a snigger.

Sirius turned around and saw Lily and James sitting on James's bed. They looked like they were about to cry with laughter.

"S-So mate, S-step f-five work t-t-then?!" James stuttered out, his face neon red with the effort of not laughing. Lily looked much the same.

"Status Report," Sirius sighed, closing his eyes. "Steps 1,2,3 and 5 are utter failures, Remus has the sexiest moans ever and I have the most uncomfortable erection ever. Goodbye." And with that, he retreated for a very cold shower.

James took one look at Lily and exploded with laughter.

This was going to be the best week ever.

* * *

**REVIEW! **

**Love as always,**

**~Purebloodarts**


	6. Lockheart and Tingling air

**Hello! **

**Heads up, you're going to HATE me by the end of this. XD**

**REVIEW!**

* * *

Sirius's day was just getting worse and worse. He had woken up refreshed, ready for another day of Moony seducing, when he noticed he was the last one up, and it was already 10.00am. He was late for History of Magic.

Again.

He charged through the school, sounding like a heard of Hippogriffs, until he reached the door. Quiet as he could, he slipped in to the classroom and flung himself, rather ungracefully, on to his seat next to James.

"Morning sleepy head." James smirked, flicking a piece of parchment at him.

"Morning antler boy." Sirius retorted, rubbing his eyes.

"Why did you sleep in so late? Were you too busy Moony-stalking?" James enquired, fingering his quill.

Sirius merely grunted, his eyes scanning the room for blue hair.

"He's not here." James's said, rolling his eyes.

_Wooooooah._

_WHERE'S MY MOONY?!_

"Where is he!?" Sirius asked, his eyes widening. James's face went slightly pink at his effort to not laugh.

_Stupid, specky, best mate, brother-in-all-but-blood twat._

"He's at the library. He's finished all the work that was set for this week, so he's 'self-studying'." James said, his eye's fixed on the back of Lily's head.

_Typical Remus._

"Well, bye!" Sirius announced, before dropping to his knees and crawling to the door.

James laughed, his eyes never moving from Lily.

_Poor padfoot._

_Love sick puppy._

With a quick look over his shoulder, Sirius slipped out of the classroom and started his trek to the library.

RLSBRLSB

_I am going to kill someone._

_I am going to kill someone._

_OH FOR FUCK SAKE, LOCKHEART I. DON'T. CARE!_

"...and THAT'S when I said, 'Well, I'm not perfect, but I'm as close as you can get!'" Lockheart chuckled, his face indicating that he was waiting for a reaction from Remus.

Remus merely gave a fake, weak laugh.

_Someone save me._

_Please._

_MERLIN PLEASE._

"...So, How about that date then?" Lockheart grinned, winking in what he clearly thought was a seductive manner. Remus blanched, trying not to scream.

_What did I do to deserve this?_

_Oh yeah._

_I dyed my hair and started wearing skin-tight jeans._

_..._

_Fuck._

"Look, Gilderoy is it? I would love to, but unfortunately I already have a date for Hogsmede." He smiled, turning his attention back to the book in his hands.

_Lie_

_Oh shut up brain._

"With whom, may I ask?" Lockheart smiled, but his eyes looked challenging.

"uuuh..Er..." Remus stuttered.

"Hello, love of my life!" Came a familiar voice from behind them both. Remus sighed in relief when Sirius swaggered up to them, plonking himself in Remus's lap. He grinned at Lockheart.

"Alright Lockheart?" He asked, playing with a strand of Remus's blue hair. Gilderoy looked slightly shocked and more than a little scared.

"Oh, erm, Sirius. Hello! Erm, I was just..er...I was just-" He flushed, unable to get a coherent sentence out of his mouth.

"He," Remus interrupted, "was just asking me if I would accompany him to Hogsmede next month."

Sirius grinned.

_Oh god._

_That's never a good sign._

"Awww! Does Lockheart have a little cwush on Remmie-kins?" Sirius drawled, sounding sickly sweet. Gilderoy flushed, looking down at his shoes.

"Would that be a problem?" He muttered. Sirius gave a small, fake laugh and put a finger under Lockhearts chin, forcing him to look up so he was eye level with him.

"Yes, it would. Because see this fine specimen right here? He's **mine."** He growled, causing Lockheart to stand up and flee the room. Sirius chuckled as his cloak disappeared out the doorway. He turned to Remus, expecting to see a smile, instead he got a frown.

_Aww fuck._

"So, Mr Black. I'm 'yours' am I?" He said, his voice smartly soft. Sirius smiled apologetically, fighting the urge to run under the werewolves glare.

"Sorry Moony, I was just trying to get rid of him." He muttered, looking up at Remus through his eyelashes, pulling his best puppy dog face. Remus frowned deeper, but his lips were twitching, threatening a smile.

"Well, it worked I suppose." He stopped frowning and grinned, causing Sirius to relax.

_Hmm..._

_I just saved my princess-_

**_Prince, you twat._**

_-Prince then..._

_Maybe we should ride in to the sunset!_

With that thought, Sirius shot up, grabbed Remus in his arms and carried him through the castle.

"Sirius! Put! Me! Down! NOW! T-this is- ridicu- SIRIUS!" Remus squirmed, trying to get Sirius to put him down. Sirius finally plopped him down in the Gryffindor common room couch.

"Oof!" Remus breathed when he was finally released. Sirius grinned down at him.

"Do I get a reward for saving you?" He asked.

Remus rolled his eyes, but grinned all the same, motioning with one finger for Sirius to come closer. When he did, he put a hand on the back of Sirius's neck, bringing their lips a fingers width apart. They could feel the others breath on their own lips. The air was practically tingling around them.

Neither moved.

"Are you planning on kissing me or not Mssr. Moony?"

* * *

**MWAHAHAHA! **

**Did they kiss?**

**You'll have to wait and find ooooooouuuuuuuttttttttt!**

**I'm so evil 8D**

**REVIEW!**

**Love as always**

**~Purebloodarts**


	7. Scared hufflepuffs and Yaoi lovers club

**Hola!**

**I am BEYOND annoyed. I typed out this whole chapter (3,000+ words) and then my laptop fucking shut down.**

**Everything was lost.**

**UGH. So this chapter won't be as long as I wanted it to be, because I can't remember everything I wrote.**

**Okay, I made you all wait a week for an update. That's just mean! Sorry!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapterico!**

* * *

"Are you planning on kissing me or not, Mssr. Moony?"

Remus laughed and pulled his face away from Sirius's, grinning smugly. Sirius's mouth opened in shock and his eyes widened comically.

"B-but?! You were supposed to kiss me?!" He spluttered, looking more-than-slightly miffed. Remus merely grinned wider, pretending to look at his finger nails.

"Was I? Oh, I had no idea." He grinned, the smug grin widening.

_Stupid, sexy, unbelievably evil werewolf! _

Sirius made a noise somewhere in between a growl and a moan, turned around and stormed out of the common room.

Remus laughed some more, and picked a book up from the floor, flipping it open at a random page and began reading.

RLSBRLSB

_Ugh!_

_Stupid Remus._

Sirius was angry. Very angry. He knew Remus liked him, he knew he liked Remus. Why couldn't they just kiss and ride into the sunset together?!

_Bloody werewolf._

Sirius didn't know where he was going, all he knew was that he had to keep walking before he hexed someone into oblivion. And that would help no one. Unless it was Snivillus, then that would be awesome._  
_

"Oi! Padfoot!"

Sirius sighed and finally looked up to see where he was. He had made it all the way to the library. He saw James sitting at a table next to Lily and across from her two Hufflepuff friends. They all appeared to be doing their Potions homework Slughorn had set yesterday.

"Hey James, hey Evans, hey...Hufflepuffs.."

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, as he slammed his head down onto the desk.

"Remus." Was his sad, muffled reply.

She gave a small, sad smile and patted the top of his head.

"He still won't kiss you?" James asked, tilting his head.

"Nope." Sirius said, sounding depressed.

Lily and James shared a small, sad smile.

"Well...why don't you try step 4?" Lily asked, trying to get him to raise his head off the table.

Sirius frowned into the table. He knew how possessive Remus was, especially when it came to Sirius or books.

Sirius shot up, almost knocking Lily off her seat.

"Yeah! Good idea Evans- I mean...Lily." He grinned, standing up.

"You better hurry, Remus is due up here at any minute to help me with my Charms essay." James said.

Sirius looked at the two Hufflepuffs who had been watching the conversation with very confused expressions.

"Right. You," He said, pointing to the smaller Hufflepuff, with very short black hair. "Come with me. Now."

The girl nodded, dazed slightly. She stood up and followed him out of the library, throwing her friend a What-in-the-name-of-fuck-just-happened look over her shoulder.

James sighed and rubbed his head.

"What's wrong, James?" Lily asked, rubbing his arm.

"Nothing, I'm just pissed that he just has to snap his fingers and a girl will come running. I wish I could do that..-"

**Thump!**

"oww! Lily, I was kidding! Christ..."

Sirius stopped at the top of the staircase that led to the library, waiting for Remus to show. The girl he had brought was wringing her hands, looking very nervous.

And sure enough, just a few seconds later, Remus appeared at the bottom of the staircase, his eyes focused on the floor.

Sirius grinned and grabbed the hufflepuff who have a small squeal, causing Remus to stop walking and look up. He frowned at Sirius but his frown quickly turned into a scowl as Sirius grabbed the girl and crashed his lips against hers.

Sirius moved his lips roughly, making the girl shudder and bring her hands up to his hair.

It felt wrong.

So very wrong.

She smelled of flowers and mints. He didn't like the smell of mints, he liked the smell of books and chocolate. Her hair felt short and dry, not long and soft like Remus's.

He opened his eyes slightly and saw a flurry of blue.

**smack!**

Stumbling backwards, Sirius grabbed his rapidly swelling cheek. He turned around and saw Remus standing beside him, his fists shaking and his face absolutely livid.

"You!" He growled, pointing at the girl, who was backing towards the wall behind her, "Get the fuck out of here." She didn't need telling twice as she hurled herself back towards the library.

"Remus! You punched me!" Sirius whined, feeling startled and slightly scared. Remus turned quickly and grabbed Sirius's face in his hands.

"You're _mi__ne, _Sirius Black. _mine!_" He growled, then, much to Sirius's shock and delight, leaned in and pressed their lips together.

_YES!_

_FINALLY!_

Sirius closed his eyes and groaned as Remus ran his tongue along his lower lip. Sirius opened his mouth and allowed Remus to deepen the kiss.

Sirius whimpered when Remus pulled away, all too soon, but kept his lips very close to Sirius's.

"Are you sure you want this?" He whispered, all his earlier anger forgotten.

Sirius growled and put his hands on Remus's hips, pulling him closer so he could feel just how much Sirius wanted this. Remus groaned and crashed their lips together again, pulling Sirius's closer.

They broke apart again when they heard a whoop and a gasp, and turned to see James and Lily staring at them. James was grinning and Lily was blushing.

"Finally!" James yelled, smacking Sirius on the back. "What the fuck happened to your face?"

Sirius grinned down at Remus who was blushing furiously.

"Remmie, here-"

"I," Remus interrupted, trying not to blush redder, "Saw Sirius with his tongue down someones throat so I...er...I punched him."

James burst out laughing and Lily ran over to them both, grabbing them both in a hug.

"Oh Gosh! I can't wait to tell the girls at the Yaoi lovers club about you guys! Eek!" She squealed before grabbing James and running off.

Remus and Sirius turned and looked at each other, both looking rather shaken.

"What the fuck is Yaoi?"

**~'*THE END*'~**

* * *

**And we have reached the end!**

***sobbing***

**I'll miss this story, it's been really fun to write. **

**REVIEW!**

**Love as always**

**~Purebloodarts**


	8. Merlin's Green Pants and Five Galleons

**Guys. I freaking LOVE you.**

**So many of you have asked me to post one last chapter and me, being the loving person I am, decided that you more than deserved one!**

**It's kind of random. But hey ho!**

**Please review!**

**So here you are;**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

**~THREE MONTHS LATER~**

"I am _not _having this conversation with you, Sirius!"

"But Moon-"

"Don't 'Moony' me, boy. I will _hurt _you."

James looked up from his Charms essay to watch Remus walk in to the common room, looking embarrassed and slightly pissed off. Sirius was right behind him, looking hopeful and practically drooling.

_No change there..._

James Potter was a very liberal man. He believed that love was love and that was all there was to it. Gender, race, religion ect. had nothing to do with it what-so-ever. As long as they loved each other, two people should be allowed to be happy. And boy, was Sirius _happy_. He looked at Remus, he just seemed to glow and he got this glazed look in his eyes as if he was imagining all the things he would enjoy doing to Remus if they were alone.

_And knowing the horny mutts they probably have done half of the weird shit Sirius thinks of._

_I still can't get over the time I found something that I **thought** was a broken pearl necklace._

_How wrong I was..._

"Moony, baby, darling, sweetheart! Please? Just tell me!" Sirius pleaded as Remus all but ran up the stairs to the dorm. On hearing the door slam Sirius sighed and threw himself on to the couch next to James.

"What's up, Padfoot?" James asked, throwing his quill down and turning to his love-sick friend. Sirius pouted, whimpering slightly.

"Weemuswunttellmehuskunk..." He whimpered pathetically.

_Er...what?_

"English, please." James sighed. Sirius groaned and put his face very near James's.

"Remus won't tell me his kink." He emphasised every word slowly as if talking to a three-year old. James took one look at Sirius's distraught face and burst out laughing. Sirius huffed and scowled as James tried not to wet himself from laughter.

"Oh Merlin, Pads! Have you ever thought that maybe he doesn't _have_ a kink?" James asked once his laughter had subsided. Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Of _course_ he has a kink, James! Everyone does!" He said.

"Everyone does what?" Another voice came from behind the couch they were sitting on.

"Hey Lily." Sirius said, still looking at James. James sighed as Lily sat down on his lap, her flowery scent filling his nose.

_My little Lily flower._

_MINE._

_Not Snivellus's._

_M-I-N-E._

_Muahahaha!_

_Ahem. Focus ,James!_

"Everyone has a kink!" Sirius answered her earlier question. James expected Lily to splutter or at least blush, but instead she grinned.

"I know. James has a thing for Green underwear."

_MERLIN'S (thankfully not green) PANTS!_

"Oi! That's a secret!" James yelled, as Sirius laughed.

"So then Lily pants, what's _your _kink?"

Lily rolled her eyes in an attempt and nonchalance but her blush gave her away. James grinned at his opportunity for revenge.

"Lily likes leather." He said, wiggling his eyebrows. Sirius burst out laughing as Lily squealed and slapped James's head.

"So, who's 'kink' are you talking about anyway?" She asked.

"Remus's" James and Sirius answered at the same time. Lily nodded and frowned slightly.

"I see Remus as a kind of bondage guy." She said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Sirius frowned aswell, deep in thought as James gave her a look to say 'as if'.

"Nah, he doesn't seem like the sort of person to even _have_ a kink." James said. Lily rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't know... I bet it's something hot thought." Sirius said, grinning again.

" I bet you both five galleons he has a bondage kink." Lily said to them, grinning again and sticking her hand out. James grinned back and shook her hand.

"Deal." They both said.

"Er...Sirius?" Yet another voice said softly from behind Sirius's head. Sirius turned around and saw his lovely little Moony standing behind him, looking bashful. Sirius shot up and grabbed Remus's face, smashing their lips together before pulling him onto his lap, much like Lily was on James's. Lily and James tried not to laugh as Remus turned bright red, avoiding their eyes.

"So, Remus...Have you thought about what I asked you?" Sirius asked, smiling sheepishly. Remus, if it were possible, turned even more red.

"Er...yes, I have." He muttered.

"And...?" Sirius asked, grinning hopefully. Remus squirmed and whispered something into Sirius's ear. Sirius's mouth opened with a comical 'pop' and his eyes lit up, with something that made James feel very uncomfortable indeed. He looked at Remus and was practically eye-fucking him.

"Really?" He asked finally. Remus grinned and winked, his blush fading slightly.

"Yup. Shall we go try it out?" He asked as he waggled his eyebrows.

Without another word Sirius stood up, hoisting Remus over his shoulder, ignoring Remus's protests. He turned to leave but stopped and threw a hand into his jeans, withdrew five galleons and threw them at Lily's shocked face.

_Oh._

_My._

_MERLIN!_

_Innocent, cute, shy little Remus has a BONDAGE kink?!_

"Don't come in to the dorm for the next two hours." was the last thing they heard from Sirius for a long time.

* * *

**Er...Yeah.  
Done!**

**For real this time. xD**

**REVIEW!**

**~Purebloodarts**


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